


Gays In Denial –– SUPPORT GROUP

by Other (MCU_is_awesome)



Series: Gift Fics for Ingi! [1]
Category: Glee, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Homestuck, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abrupt Ending, Crack Treated Seriously, Gay Dan Howell, Gay Katsuki Yuuri, Gen, I'm Sorry, John Egbert is Not a Homosexual, M/M, Minor John Egbert/Dave Strider, Minor Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Short One Shot, What Was I Thinking?, Wordcount: 500-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 17:26:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13194999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCU_is_awesome/pseuds/Other
Summary: The Boys participate in a support group to come to terms with their gayness.





	Gays In Denial –– SUPPORT GROUP

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ingi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ingi/gifts).



> Looooool wtf even is this. This is actually terrible. I am so sorry. 
> 
> Part 1/3 of the oneshots for Ingi for our holiday gift exchange :) Merry Ficmas!

You glance around awkwardly. A sign, half-falling off the wall, reads, “Gays In Denial –– SUPPORT GROUP,” with a short caption underneath, “It’s never too late to come to terms!”

You don’t understand. You obviously don’t belong here! You have told everyone, time and time again, that you are NOT a homosexual! Your dumb-stupid ecto-sister needed to get that through her head.

“Okay, John,” she had giggled as she dropped you off, shoving you through the door, “if that’s true, you shouldn’t have any problems today! Right?”

“R-right… what even _is_ this again? I thought we were going bowling!”

“We are! In an hour and a half, when this ends. I’ll see you then! I’ll be waiting… right. Outside. This. Door.” On that note, she had grinned and practically skipped back to her car, the buttface.

So here you were, sitting on an uncomfortable, hard-backed plastic chair, gazing at three other gays –– guys, you mean guys. Bros. Pals, even. Homos –– HOMIES, YOU MEAN HOMIES. They varied drastically in age and appearance.

The leader (no, “supportive friend,” he had said before, you remember) walks back into the room. “I apologize for the delay,” he says, grimacing slightly. “My husband, Victor, called. Shall we begin? Let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves –– our names, when we first realized we were gay, and when we finally came to terms with it. I’ll start. My name is Katsuki Yuuri. I’ve known I was gay as long as I’ve known my husband, so… ten years, give or take a few? I came to terms with it months later. Okay, your turn,” he says, gesturing to the teen next to him.

“Hi, my name is Blaine Anderson, and I’ve known I was gay all my life. I finally came to terms with it just three days ago –– I realize now I need to stop having a bisexual crisis and randomly kissing the female friends of my best friend, I really am just gay.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with being bisexual!” interjects Yuuri. “But if you know you’re not, I’m happy for you on that account, too. Who’s next?”

“Hey, aren’t you that retired figure skater?” the man sitting across from Yuuri asks. “Oh yeah, hi, my name is Dan Howell, I’ve known I was gay since I was about fourteen or fifteen, and I finally came to terms with it last year. Yay,” he cheers, a bit sarcastically.

Yuuri smiled at him. “I am. And you’re that one YouTuber from danandphil! Your turn.” He makes a motion to a young adult with bright blonde hair, so light it was practically white.

“My name is Draco. Draco Malfoy. I’m not gay,” he huffs dramatically, sneering at the room. “And even if I were, I have no idea why I’d be lumped in with you… you _muggles_.” His lip curls up at that, as if he couldn’t bear the very thought of such an idea.

“Right… okay… and you?” Yuuri remarks, signaling you, at last.

“Hi, my name is John Egbert, and I am _not_ a homosexual! Not that there’s anything wrong with… with _that_ , I’m just not!” Yuuri nods sadly at you as though he didn’t believe a word you were saying. What a dick.  

“Okay, well that concludes our introductions. Draco, John, tell us a bit more about why you’re here today, if you don’t think you’re gay.”

You both go to talk at once. “Well, my sister _forced_ me to be here––”

“I honestly don’t know how to answer that question, seeing as I was under the influence of the Confundus Charm…”

“I… what?” the darker-haired British dude asks.

“Keep to your own, _muggle_ , or I swear…”

Yuuri laughs nervously. “Okay, let’s keep this civil… John, why don’t you tell us more about your sister…?”

“I mean, what about her? She’s so rude, we were supposed to be going bowling, I don’t even understand why I’m here! I keep telling everyone that I am _not_ a homosexual!”

“He can’t even say _gay_ … case… of… serious… denial…” the boy with the cement-hair mutters to himself, scribbling furiously on his clipboard –– hey wait where had that even _come_ from?

“Hey, why are you writing about me?!” exclaims John, taken aback.

“Oh, I don’t know, it just seems like it would be fun––”

“It’s not fun! Don’t do that!”

“Okay, okay, jeez.”

“Let’s all just take a deep breath––”

Draco shoots up from his seat. “I am _done_ with this… this ridiculous nonsense! You’re all lucky I don’t curse you to––” and then he disappears in a flash of light.

“What just happened?!”

“I… can’t say that happens every meeting…”

“I think I’m just gonna… go…”

Yuuri looks at the spot Draco disappeared from, growing increasingly concerned. “So I guess we’ll conclude our Gays In Denial Support Group session for today a bit early! See you all next week!”

John jumps out of his seat and runs to the door. “JADE!”

“John!” she exclaims, looking excited. “Have you finally come to terms with your crush on Dave?!”

“My _what_.”

“Oh damn it! Have you at least accepted that fact that you’re gay?”

“I already told you, I am _not_ a homosexual!”

“What’s the point,” mutters Jade angrily as she speeds off to the bowling alley.

**Author's Note:**

> At... least I can say that I tried? Heh. Maybe the other two will be better! Hmm.


End file.
